Wednesday, 29 June 2016

WWE Storylines That Are Unforgettably Ridiculous

Professional wrestling mixes athleticism with a soap opera atmosphere. The stories drive the show, which always leads to a battle in the ring. At times, these stories grip the viewer, but sometimes, these stories are so over-the-top, they burn themselves into your brain.

Mae Young Gives Birth to a Hand

Mark Henry and Mae Young are both known for some of their more outrageous moments during WWE's Attitude Era. Young, 77 at the time, got together with the aptly named "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry, who was in his late 20s. Young ended up getting pregnant, and during one backstage segment, she gave birth to a rubber hand covered in slime.

Return of The Hand

In 2012, WWE's flagship show, Raw, celebrated its 1,000th episode. For a brief moment, Mae Young showed up, and alongside her was her rubber hand son, all grown up.

Kurt Angle Censors the Audience

In 2005, the WWE Universe had turned on Kurt Angle. He was no longer their American hero. In fact, they all started chanting "you suck" during his entrance to the ring, to go along with his uplifting, patriotic theme song. To combat this, Angle had "the powers that be" censor the audience, so their "you suck" chants were bleeped. Here's a taste of what we got to experience, Monday after Monday.

Kaientai Gets Revenge on Val Venis

Val Venis, on his own, is a pretty memorable character, as he was a porn star, looking to break away from the tedium of being paid for sex. He found himself in the WWE, engaging in an affair with the wife of Mr. Yamaguchi, the manager of the stable Kaientai. What happened next was Kaientai kidnapping Venis. Then Yamaguchi held a sword, ready to cut off Venis' member. While the scene faded to black, Venis came on television the next week, with special guest John Wayne Bobbit, to explain he was fine because of "shrinkage."

Mae Young Bares All at the Royal Rumble

At the 2000 Royal Rumble, Jerry "The King" Lawler was the MC for a swimsuit contest, featuring the women of WWE. After the women showed off their outfits, there was one surprise contestant: Mae Young. She came to the ring, showed off her swimsuit, then preceded to take off the top of her swimsuit, baring all to the crowd and everyone watching the PPV at home. The judges unanimously voted her as the winner.

Big Boss Man Turns Al Snow's Dog Into Dinner

In September of '99, Al Snow and Big Boss Man had a heated rivalry. At one point during their battles, Big Boss Man kidnapped Snow's dog, Pepper. In order to make amends, Big Boss Man invited Snow to his hotel room and made him dinner. It turned out that Boss Man's meal didn't just consist of noodles and sauce. Snow's dog Pepper was cooked right into the dish, and Snow ate it before he was told about the secret ingredient. This led to one of the silliest PPV matches in history...

The Kennel From Hell Match

After Snow ate his dog, which Boss Man fed to him, a special match was set up for the 1999 PPV Unforgiven, the Kennel from Hell match. Surrounding the ring was a steel cage, outside of that was a Hell in a Cell. However, what made this match special was a few dogs surrounding the ring, inside the cell. While they were hyped as being vicious and man-eating, the dogs only let out a couple of barks. There was nothing scary about them.

Referee Tim White Tries to Kill Himself, Over and Over Again

After Wrestlemania XX, referee Tim White injured his shoulder and was forced to retire. While running a bar in Rhode Island, WWE reporter Josh Mathews would check in with White. During these segments, White tried to commit suicide. By the next week, White was back, as Mathews explained that the former referee kept failing. The series ended when White shot Mathews with a shotgun.

The McMahons Fight Shawn Michaels and His Tag Team Partner, God

Not everything ridiculous comes from the Attitude Era. Back in 2006, Vince and Shane McMahon were slated to take on Shawn Michaels at Backlash. Because Michaels had become a born-again Christian, it was worked into the angle that Michaels' tag partner for the match would be God. The deity got their own entrance, represented by a spotlight. After God got into the ring, Vince had the referee check the spotlight for weapons because God could have something up their sleeve.

Santino Becomes Miss Wrestlemania

Santino Marella was known for his off-the-wall antics. He was one of the driving comedic forces of the late 2000s. In 2009, there was an announcement that at Wrestlemania XXV, a "Miss Wrestlemania" would be crowned during a diva battle royal. Santino put on a wig and some makeup, and he became Santina. He ended up winning "Miss Wrestlemania," but he was later fired by Raw GM Donald Trump. Stranger yet, it was revealed in that scene that Santina Marella was "real," as Santino showed up heartbroken his sister no longer worked there.

Vince McMahon Blows Up

Vince McMahon has been running the largest professional wrestling program for quite some time, and during an episode of RAW, everyone held a "Vince McMahon Appreciation Night." The thing was that no one appreciated him. Numerous wrestlers even took this night to let out all their anger on the boss. Vince walked to his limo, got it, and it blew up. WWE kept kayfabe in tact, which is rough when you're a publicly traded company, as stock prices dropped for a bit. There were plans for a memorial show. However, days prior, wrestler Chris Benoit had passed. Vince McMahon came out on Raw and told everyone stated that his death was part of an ill-timed storyline.

Big Show Bodysurfs His Father's Coffin

There are quite a few story lines that dealt with death, which, in hindsight, are pretty insane. One of the most memorable moments happened during a funeral for the Big Show's father. Big Boss Man showed up with a comically large bullhorn strapped to his car. He said some not-so-nice thing to the grieving wrestler and his family. Big Boss Man then chained the coffin to his Big Boss Mobile and towed it behind him, while Big Show rode on top of it. The feud didn't end there. At one point, Big Boss Man broke into the home of Big Show's mother and forced her to admit Big Show was a bastard.

Anonymous Raw General Manager

During the mid 2000s, Raw had General Managers running the show. These folks would put together matches and become the driving force of the show each week. However, in June of 2010, Vince McMahon revealed the newest Raw GM: a laptop computer. Messages or emails came through the computer, and ring announcer Michael Cole would read them. The Raw GM wanted to remain anonymous, so he or she never showed their face. This story line lasted 13 months and included some highlights like Edge destroying the laptop. However, the true identity of the person behind the familiar message sound was never revealed. Well, Raw 1000 did show that Hornswoggle was behind it all, but none of us believe that for a second.

The Undertaker Hangs Big Boss Man

Wrestlemania always has some amazing moments that live in fans' memories for a lifetime. However, this is not one of those moments. At Wrestlemania XV, The Undertaker fought Big Boss Man in a Hell in a Cell match. The Undertaker ended up winning, but to add insult to injury, the Brood (Gangrel, Edge, and Christian) came to the ring and helped Undertaker put a noose around Big Boss Man. As the cell was raised, Boss Man hung from the rope. This somber and disturbing moment was quickly followed by a recap of the Wrestlemania Rage Party, which was a rave and concert-like atmosphere featuring wrestlers and the swing band Cherry-Poppin' Daddies.

Chavo Guerrero Becomes Kerwin White

One day in 2005, Chavo Guererro decided not to be Chavo anymore. He denounced his Hispanic heritage and became Kerwin White. He's a stereotypical, middle-class, white male, who came to the ring in a golf cart while a Frank Sinatra-esque song played. He even had his own caddie, who later became Dolph Ziggler. The things White said tended to be pretty offensive by today's standards but still pretty funny. However, this story line was cut short when Eddie Guerrero, Chavo's uncle, tragically passed away. Kerwin went back to being Chavo in order to continue the Guerrero legacy.

Triple H Wears a Kane Mask and Has Sex in a Coffin

There is nothing, and I repeat NOTHING, harder to watch than the final moment on the list. Kane had a girlfriend named Katie Vick, who died in a car wreck because Kane didn't know how to drive stick shift. It was revealed Kane had sex with her and Triple H asked the question "Did it happen before or after she died?" To follow that up, Triple H released a video, which feels about 30 minutes long, of him in a Kane mask proceeding to have sex with a dummy in a coffin. It is the hardest to watch thing WWE has produced to date, even more than Leprechaun Origins.

from GameSpot

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